Category Archives: Motivational

THINKING FOR SUCCESS, Volume 3, Number 4, December 9, 2013

In the capacity of my career I am fortunate to be in a position to help others as they face various forms of adversity, challenges, difficult decisions, etc. While the facts and circumstances differ from situation to situation, finding a solution invariably follows a similar pattern in analyzing the problem, considering alternatives for action and in the final analysis, making a decision. Invariably, how one thinks to a large extent determines the final outcome. Sometimes, as crazy as it might seem, the eventual decision is unfortunately many times “chosen by default“, i.e., by not making a decision a decision is actually made. Let’s take a step back and see if we can better understand why this happens, even at times to the best us, and, perhaps more importantly, what we can do about it.

Choosing by default (CBD) ususally occurs without even realizing a decision has been made. Having counseled and coached numerous clients and staff over 35+ years, so much, in my opinion, starts from either lack of self-confidence and self-esteem, fear of making the wrong decision, incessant worry, etc. These arbitrary self assessments/mind sets are for the most part hogwash causing distortion and vacillation. Sadly, they are symptoms of an all too often ailment which goes undetected and misdiagnosed — I call it Shit-in-the-Head Disease” (SITHD). People who suffer from SITHD may appear quite normal on the surface, but in a quiet moment all alone they suffer, albeit unnecessarily. Surprisingly, those who suffer are many times quite talented and remarkably intelligent.

Let’s take a closer look at a real life example (names changed to protect the innocent) of how SITHD can rather routinely be the root cause of CBD. My friend Robert works for a well-respected firm, has a good job, receives competitive pay, yet hates his job. The fit (employee and company) is not the best and the time has come to move on; Robert is capable of much more. While Robert knows this, self-doubt has already stepped in, even though he is not only good at what he does, smart, hard-working, enthusiastic, but also truly well-liked by his fellow employees and superiors. He is nevertheless frozen, unable to make a decision regarding his future. He is “certain” he will fail even though the facts indicate otherwise. You might now be saying, WOW, this can’t be Joe, but yes Kemosahbee, it is. But the best part is, by not making a decision, Robert has in effect made a decision, he has CBD. Robert’s story is not unique. William, a very capable and successful business owner with an abundance of skill and ability, is unable to come to grips with the future direction of his company. He knows the answer, yet will do anything to avoid change and potential confrontation. He has, like many of his fellow business owners, CBD, and in doing so has become an ostrich with his head in the sand.

If you can identify with CBD and suffer from SITHD, take heart, there is hope. Remarkably, just like when Dorothy in The Wizzard of OZ discovered that she could have returned to Kansas at anytime by simply clicking her ruby slippers together, you too can rid yourself SITHD and thus put an end to CBD. First and foremost, you must acknowledge, and repeat over and over, that no one, and I mean no one, can control how you think except you. Keeping that in mind, let’s look at the following 15 Maxims to Successful Thinking:

MAXIM #1 – Many times in life the truth is irrelevant. DISCUSSION – The sooner you can recognize and accept this phenomenon, the sooner your response to adversity and unfair treatment will be much more controlled and appropriate regardless of the situation.

MAXIM #2 – The only thing we can do is our best: Do not prophesize negative outcomes. DISCUSSION – In other words, watch what you say as it has a surprising way of coming to fruition. If you’re going to say something, keep it positive.

MAXIM #3 – If you can’t be number 1, be number 2. When number 1 slips and falls –and they will — be ready to get in the game. DISCUSSION – Whether it be in sports, in the classroom, in business or life in general, if you find yourself number 2, make the most of it. After all, you are next in line to be number 1. While things may not be happening according to our self-imposed timetable, stay the course, think positive and do your best. Leave the timing to God.

MAXIM #4 – Count your blessings and build on them. DISCUSSION – You don’t have to wait for the Thanksgiving holiday to come around, or to be in church to count your blessings and give thanks. Give thanks everyday and in doing so, something magical happens.

MAXIM #5 – Nothing changes if nothing changes. DISCUSSION – This maxim is amazingly simply, yet so profound. We need to change a behavior in order to attain different results.

MAXIM #6 – Take a time out: We control what we think, what we say and what we do. No one else does. DISCUSSION – Sometimes in order to put things in proper perspective you just have to apply the brakes and take a deep breath.

MAXIM #7 – While many times our circumstances are beyond our control, you can always change your perspective. DISCUSSION – Life is 10% of what happens to us and 90% of how we respond. Keeping the right perspective is crucial to our success.

MAXIM #8 – Walk by faith and not by sight. DISCUSSION – Faith is a higher level of belief. No obstacle is too great for faith. The opposite of faith is F-E-A-R. Fear is nothing more than False Evidence Appearing Real. With men it may be impossible, but with God all things are possible.

MAXIM #9 – Our circumstances must never change our attitude, but our attitude can change our circumstances. DISCUSSION – Regardless of what is happening around and/or to us, our efforts should never go into a slump.

MAXIM #10 – What is the answer if you don’t ask? NO, of course. DISCUSSION – Take those training wheels off and GO FOR IT!!!!! What do you have to lose?

MAXIM #11 – Fortune favors the bold–not the reckless. DISCUSSION – Dare to dream and believe in yourself having the courage of your convictions in moving forward.

MAXIM #12 – The competetion maybe bigger and stronger, the adversity you face may appear overwhelming, but always remember, David beat Goliath. DISCUSSION – Yes, he did and with just 5 small stones. Enough said.

MAXIM #13– It takes an adult to say I’m wrong”, “I’m sorry” and “I want to learn from my mistakes.” DISCUSSION – Just because one is an adult, it does not mean we are infallible. Be an adult and most importantly, be gracious and sincere in owning up to our mistakes of any kind.

MAXIM #14, – Focus on forgiveness of others – “As we forgive those who trespass against us”. DISCUSSION – Too many times in life we get consumed by anger, disrespect, slights, etc. Don’t give away your joy. Not only should we forgive others for their indiscretions, but we should take the higher road and pray for them. In doing so, the negative thoughts will remarkably dissipate.

MAXIM #15 – Be careful, very careful of letting your ego make your decisions and affect your thinking. DISCUSSION – There is a difference, a profound difference, between having a strong ego and having a big ego. In either case, always remember the acronym E.G.O., which stands for Edging God Out.

Take the 15 Maxims for Successful Thinking listed above and intertwine them into THE 11th COMMANDMENT – Thou shalt not piss, whine, moan or complain. DISCUSSION – More so than any one maxim, honoring this commandment will make the biggest difference in recovering from SITHD.

Does practicing the maxims discussed above together with The 11th commandment work, and perhaps even more importantly, do they cure SITHD as well as CBD? They do. Click here for real-life example and in this case the name has not been changed because he wanted me to share his story with you.

As our world has changed over the years and continues to do so at an incredibly fast pace, it is more important than ever that we hold true to principles, fundamentals, maxims and commandments that will stand the test of time. In doing so, we are honoring God. Adversity, challenges, and difficult decisions, will be here until the end of time. Whether you suffer from some form of SITHD or find yourself CBD, you can change your thinking and in doing so change your world. Bad habits are hard to break and SITHD is nothing more than a bad habit. Knowing that the law of learning is quite simply repetition (this is how we memorized our ABCs and multiplication tables) we can begin to change our thinking in a positive manner. Commit to memory The 15 Maxims of Successful Thinking together with The 11th Commandment and in doing so prepare yourself for a new world that you never knew existed. Just like Dorothy, all you have to do is click those ruby slippers; Thinking for Success is within your grasp and best of all, its’ entirely up to you!!!

Have a great day!!! May God Bless you!!!!

Joseph V. Carlozo (Joe)

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THE PRESIDENT’s LETTER – 2012 Edition – Volume 3, Number 1, January 25, 2013

Its December 22nd – Sue is inside TARGET getting some last minute shopping done before we break for the holidays; I’m right outside in the car listening to Christmas music with what seems like 1,000 thoughts racing through my mind. Amidst the overcast sky there’s a chill in the air and the wind is blowing briskly as I watch parents with their young children walking in and out of the store. As I see happiness on their faces I can’t help but think of the horrific killing of 20 six and seven year old children at Sandy Hook Elementary School just the week prior. In so many ways what happen is worse than 9/11. I think of their families, the children who survived and the 6 teachers who died trying to save them and their classmates. I think of the brave parent Robbie Parker who lost his 6-year old daughter Emilee and with tears in his eyes offered not only his condolences to the shooters family, but his love and support to them as well. This tragedy is pure heartbreak and when taken into perspective makes whatever struggles we face personally and/or in business seem minuscule by comparison.  Like any adversity we face in our lives, our faith strengthens our resolve to move forward. Why does it take something so awful to shake our society and bring people together? Suddenly there are no democrats or republicans. Neither are there conservatives or liberals. You can’t distinguish between Protestants, Catholics, Jews or any other religion for that matter. Looking around and you can’t find whites, blacks, Latinos or Asians. Suddenly, we are all one even it is for a brief moment in time. We realize how fragile life is and bond with others regardless of their ages, race, religion, politics, gender, and however else society separates us. In the wake of Newtown, we are all parents with heartbreak. It’s times like this that we must all return to the basics giving thanks to God for all of our blessings. And with iPad in hand and a tear or two in my eyes, I begin my Presidents Letter for 2012 hoping that whatever holiday you celebrate, that you and your family had a great one filled with happiness, laughter and love.

It seems like it was just a blink of the eye and there we were starting Tax Season 2012. While each Tax Season is in and of itself unique, the inescapable common denominators are hard work combined with long hours sprinkled in with laughter, camaraderie and a “race to the finish line”. In the final analysis we prevailed, but clearly it was a hard fought battle which challenged us to the limit. In my blog – Carlozo’s Corner Volume 2, Number 2, May 21, 2012 – THE-LUCKIEST-GUY-IN-THE-WORLD-TAX-SEASON-2012-EPILOGUE – I would go on to write about it. https://carlozocompany.wordpress.com/2012/05/21/the-luckiest-guy-in-the-world-tax-season-2012-epilogue-volume-2-number-2-may-21-2012/.

In late January I was deeply saddened to learn of the passing of my college football coach, Joe Paterno. We had just finished the filming of THE JOE WE KNOW (TJWK) www.grandexperiment.org ; http://vimeo.com/37728569  which was meant to be a belated birthday surprise to him. Unfortunately, he never had the chance to see it as he died 3 days after filming wrapped. In just 12 days over 70 former players in 5 different cities (New York, Pittsburgh, State College, Philadelphia and Baltimore) were interviewed (40 minutes) with the end result a one-hour documentary film. During this time I would go on to meet players from six different decades, Subsequently, I wrote THE JOE I KNEW in my blog – Carlozo’s Corner Volume 2, Number 1, February 6, 2012. https://carlozocompany.wordpress.com/2012/02/07/the-joe-i-knew-volume-2-number-1-february-6-2012/. Amidst all of the media frenzy up until that point, and all that followed with the eventual issuing of The Freeh Report in July, I would not be surprised by judgments and/or opinions, nor would I be offended. First and foremost, the children here will never be forgotten. Still, as much as I read (and I have read a great deal on this matter) questions remained as there was no due process (a right each of us are entitled to) for Coach Paterno that I could see; in the final analysis the story as reported strongly indicated a rush to judgment. Keep in mind there was only a short period of time (approximately 2 1/2 months) from his firing as Penn State’s head coach until his death. Then it all came together when reading PATERNO by Joe Posnanski, a Christmas gift from son Joe and his wife Emily. While there was a myriad of politics beneath the surface, and for the most part unknown by the general public, it was nevertheless real. Still, I remained convinced that Coach Paterno wanted the truth to come out. Eventually, I strongly believe that the facts will support there was no cover up but rather a desire by the media to sensationalize a story. At his memorial, his son Jay led the gathering in a reading of Joe’s favorite prayer (The Lord’s Prayer) from way back in the day until his final game in October 30, 2011. It was recited after every game.  In Jay Paterno’s words, “He loved it – not so much for religious reasons but for the words. Look. The Lord’s Prayer uses the words “us” and “we” and “our”. It does not use the word “I” or “me” or “mine”. Paterno understood – It was a team prayer.”  At that point, it all came rushing back to me as 24 years ago I penned our Firm’s MISSION STATEMENT. On many occasions since then, I have been on record that the word “WE” is used seven times and you will not find the use of the words “I” “me” or “my”. Clearly, this didn’t happen by pure coincidence and without realizing it, I really didn’t think of these building blocks on my own – the principles and foundation of TEAM had been instilled many years prior without any notice or fanfare – it was a part of the Penn State football culture.

During our post tax season getaway to Myrtle Beach, Sue and I would drive north 3 1/2 hours to attend our daughter Nicole’s Graduation from Duke University’s Master Program in Environmental Management. We were so proud of Nicole and so happy to learn that in a short 3 months later she would relocate in Annapolis working through the MD Department of Natural Resources. Nicole had taken all of her God given talents and abilities and used them to her fullest extent. On reflecting on Nicole’s accomplishments, I would go on to write about it in my Blog Carlozo’s CornerGOOD ENOUGH. Volume 2, Number 3, July 5, 2013. https://carlozocompany.wordpress.com/2012/07/05/good-enough-volume-2-number-3-july-5-2012/

After returning home from Myrtle Beach, I would first volunteer time to give back joining up with a handful of former Penn State football players – you can read about it here:

http://rainn.org/news-room/12-year-old-raises-more-than-10000-for-RAINN#.UODZJ5aX6SU.twitter. From Washington DC, Sue and I would begin to get ready for our son Joe’s wedding to Emily just outside of Downingtown PA. It was a great day; afterwards, I would write about it in my Blog – Carlozo’s Corner Volume 2, Number 5, September 4, 2012 – A REFLECTION BACK, A LOOK AHEAD – AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER. https://carlozocompany.wordpress.com/2012/09/04/a-rflection-back-a-look-ahead-and-they-lived-happily-ever-after-volume-2-no-5-september-4-2012/

Sadly, as much as we had hoped and prayed for a miracle, Pop would not be able to attend as he remained bedridden; in April it will be 5 years. As we had entered tax season, he was hospitalized and released under hospice care, yet somehow 4 weeks later he miraculously began eating again. While it admittedly gets harder to visit him and see his pain, his refusal to quit borders on the unbelievable and his strength finds its way to my heart and soul. He will always be with me.

Corvettes at Carlisle  http://www.carsatcarlisle.com/events/corvettes/ was much quieter this year Sue and I were on our own as Joe and Emily were away on their honeymoon and Jessica was not able to make it. Still, there’s nothing quite like getting to the fairgrounds around 7:00 A.M. and feeling the peacefulness of the moment as the Vettes from all generations slowly start to find their way in. The weather was outstanding and the parade in downtown Carlisle was simply awesome. If you have never been to Corvettes at Carlisle I again encourage you to plan a day to just walk around and have fun. As the 2013 – 60th anniversary Vette was introduced, the word was mum on the C7 (the 7th generation Corvette) which was introduced at the North American International Auto Show (commonly referred to as The Detroit Auto Show) on January 13, 2013. All I can say is this car is awesome!!!!! http://www.chevrolet.com/new-2014-corvette. The timing couldn’t be better as word has it that the federal government is about to sell its shareholdings of GM stock within the next 12 to 15 months – YEAH!!! http://www.usatoday.com/story/money/business/2012/12/19/gm-stock-treasury-buyback/1779191/. Speaking of The Detroit Auto Show, Sue and I had joined a group of Vette enthusiasts in January 2004 when the C6 was introduced as a 2005 model. It was a memorable event and helped us to better understand how special an upscale car show could be. If you ever have the chance to go – do it!!!!

As we turned the corner in fall, all of us were faced with a hard fought presidential election. Regardless of your political affiliation, the discord in Washington combined with the budget deficits are disconcerting to say the least. Reflecting on the right to vote, I penned a blog Carlozo’s Corner Volume 2, Number 6, September 10, 2012 – EVERY DAY IS ELECTION DAY https://carlozocompany.wordpress.com/2012/09/10/every-day-is-election-day-volume-2-no-6-september-10-2012. Just before the election, a bunch of us in the office joined in walking in The Race For The Cure. It was a beautiful Sunday morning in Hunt Valley in which we joined together as a TEAM on a different field. http://www.carlozo.com/Our-Company/In-the-Community/

When the kids were growing up, annual trips to Hershey were always on the agenda. We have so many fond memories of Hershey Park, Chocolate World and spending the nights in “The Sweetest Place on Earth”. To celebrate my 60th (can you believe it) birthday this year, Sue suggested that just the 2 of us spend the weekend at The Hershey Lodge. It was a great idea and I should have realized that she had a something up her sleeve when the next Saturday morning, Jess, Nicole and Joe and his new wife Emily surprised me at Chocolate World. It just doesn’t get any better as we would spend the rest of the day together as a family. While we were all older, it really didn’t matter; it was a memory that would last forever.

Whenever I see our group at work do things together as a team, it always brings a smile to my face. This December Tina and Kelly had had come up with the idea of decorating and donating a Christmas tree for the benefit of the Kennedy Krieger Institute Festival of Trees. Using a McDonald’s theme, local Owner/Operators Tom and Jean Hayden were so kind and generous to donate a vast array of decorations. Besides working together, the sale of our tree raised over $300 for Kennedy Kreiger. http://www.carlozo.com/Our-Company/In-the-Community/

As many of you know, I very much enjoy writing. I find it relaxing and very much therapeutic. It is my small attempt to inspire others and make a difference in the complicated world in which we all live. During 2012 I continued the tradition started in 2011 and in addition to the Blogs mentioned above, I continued on writing on a variety of topics:

IF YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR WORLD – Volume 2, Number 4, July 23, 2012 https://carlozocompany.wordpress.com/2012/07/23/if-you-want-to-change-your-world-volume-2-number-4-july-23-2012/

GO AHEAD – MAKE MY DAY – Volume 2, Number 7, October 5, 2012 https://carlozocompany.wordpress.com/2012/10/08/go-ahead-make-my-day-volume-2-number-7-october-5-2012/

WHAT DO YOU SEE WHEN YOU LOOK IN THE MIRROR – volume 2, Number 8, November 23, 2012 https://carlozocompany.wordpress.com/2012/11/26/what-do-you-see-when-you-look-in-the-mirror-volume-2-number-8-november-23-2012/

In signing off, please take this time to remember the victims and their families of Newtown. Let’s all work together in making the world in which we live a better place for everyone. If we can as human beings stop bickering, maybe we can set an example for those in Washington who represent us. It shouldn’t take a tragedy to bring us together as a nation; we are all children of God. Life is so fast-paced, make time to smell the roses and share our time unselfishly with others. Along the way be kind to everyone you meet and remember that it doesn’t take a whole lot to make someone’s day www.justbenice.com. You can change your world if you are ready to change your words and change your thoughts. “Bad thinking” is nothing more than a “bad habit” – reverse the process. “The Law of Learning” is simply “repetition” so get into the “good habit” of practicing “The Most Important Voice You Hear is Your Own” making certain that you are broadcasting positive thoughts of faith, hope and love. If you are not listening to the right radio station make a slight adjustment and tune into WJOE broadcasting live 24/7 from greater downtown Timonium. I’ll be there cheering you on. Keeping that in mind, I wish you a Happy, Healthy and Prosperous 2013!!!

Have a GREAT day!!!! May God Bless you and your families!!!!

Joseph V. Carlozo (Joe)

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WHAT DO YOU SEE WHEN YOU LOOK IN THE MIRROR? – Volume 2, Number 8, November 23, 2012

It seems like yesterday, but it was actually 1993. Sue, the kids and I were watching the Walt Disney movie Cool Runnings, a story based on the first Jamaican Bobsled Team. One of the actors, John Candy, was a household favorite with his lovable roles in Harry Crumb“, “Uncle BuckandTrains, Planes & Automobiles to name a few. The next year we would sadly lose John Candy as he would die in his sleep from a heart attack at the all too early age of 43. Candy, a big man (by any standard) standing at 6′ 3″ and weighing close to 330 lbs. at the time of his death, apparently smoked a pack of cigarettes each day. Years of practice (read a bad habit) readied him to respond with spontaneous humor with references to his size. Behind the self-deprecating jokes, Candy harbored considerable pain. “I’m the one who has to look in the mirror,” he told PEOPLE in 1981, “and after a while it begins to eat at you.” Those who watched Candy go from diet to diet, trainer to trainer, hot dog to hoagie, bore sad witness to a constant struggle between his good intentions and his self-destructive desires. “I know what I have to do if I want to lose weight and stay healthy: eat a proper diet and exercise,” Candy said. “All I’ve got to do is apply it.” (1)

Keeping John Candy in mind, regardless of which movie we watched as a family, it always seems that we would walk away with one or two lines that we still to this day repeat time and time again. Cool Runnings was no exception. In this particular scene, Yul Brenner (played by actor Malik Yoba) attempting to “shake-up” his younger counterpart Junior Bevil (played by actor Rawle D. Lewis) grabs and holds him up to a mirror. “Look into the mirror and tell me what you see” Brenner barks out. Junior Bevil responds, “I see Junior; I see a young boy who’s afraid”. Yul Brenner responds – “You see Junior? Well, let me tell you what I see. I see passion! I see pride! I see power! I see a bad-ass mother who don’t take no crap off of nobody!!!” Brenner’s intense and passionate delivery declaring how he saw Bevil is forever entrenched in my mind.

Some 19 years after first seeing Cool Runnings I had the delightful pleasure to meet George (not his real name) at one of my personal training sessions at The MAC (Maryland Athletic Club). Afterwards I learned that George had over the last year or so had lost approximately 200 pounds. WOW I thought, that’s simply incredible!!! Still, when I first met him, what impressed me most was his smile, his enthusiasm and genuinely good nature; I knew immediately George was a good person with a wonderful heart. George was the kind of person you just wanted to be around. While George looked great, he still didn’t see it that way. He still wore clothes which were too big for him and spoke in terms of what he perceived as his weaknesses and shortcomings; quite simply it appeared to me that he lacked self-confidence. Apparently when George looked in the mirror, he still saw “the old overweight George”.

OK Kimasabbie, by now you must certainly be wondering where I’m going with this blog. Well it’s your turn; you knew this question was coming,    What do you see when you look in the mirror?” Do you see confidence, enthusiasm and kindness or do you see the little boy Junior who’s afraid? Is your thinking “up-to-date” with your present situation or are you like George, living in the past? When you look in the mirror, are you like John Candy hating what you see and harboring pain? While you might feel your situation is hopeless, I’m here to tell you it’s not; it simply doesn’t have to be that way. In life there are both “good habits” as well as “bad habits”. A habit is nothing more than a behavior that repeatedly occurs, usually on a subconscious level; make the law of habit work for you in a positive way. Looking in the mirror doesn’t have to apply solely to physical attributes, it can also relate to our thinking, our internal moral compass or even our attitudes and how we relate to others. Remember from previous blogs, as related in Volume 1, Number 1, October 18, 2011 – NOTHING CHANGES IF NOTHING CHANGES and Volume 2, Number 4, July 23, 2012 – IF YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR WORLD, then change your words. Last, but not least, recall from BEFORE YOU CAN LEAD, YOU MUST LEARN TO FOLLOW, Volume 1, Number 6, November 3, 2011 where Dr. Keith Ablow, noted psychiatrist stated in the book he co-authored, The 7 Seven Wonders That Will Change Your Life, “more than any one thing, you must be truthful with yourself; It is never too late to turn and face the real story of how you became who you are in this world, in order to rid yourself of any emotional or behavioral patterns, especially unconscious ones, that are undermining your possibilities.”

I just heard that George finally ditched the old clothes and is fitting into regular size clothes you can buy off the rack. Apparently he summoned the strength from within to face the truth and breakthrough his self imposed distorted image of self. We were all so happy. Gone is the Junior Bevil mentality of being the little boy who’s afraid. Left behind is his “living in the past” bad habit. I’m sure John Candy is looking down and smiling knowing that George showed incredible strength and intestinal fortitude even if he could not. Looking in the mirror will never be the same.

With God, while all things are possible, we must still give it our best efforts. We must think positively avoiding John Candy opportunities to put ourselves down using humor as a disguise. We must be willing to let go of bad habits and replace them with good habits. We must live in the present and be disciplined enough to put our goals into action. We must be kind to ourselves recognizing that true change occurs from within. Are you worth being noticed? Are you smart enough or strong enough to attain your goals? You better believe you are!!!! As I have said many times before and bears being repeated….The most important voice you hear is your own….make certain you are broadcasting positive thoughts of faith, hope and love.  Be kind to yourself – change the channel (preferably to WJOE) and commit to being your best. Do this and your good intentions will win out over any weaknesses and/or self-destructive desires. I know you can do this, George knows it too and so does the spirit of John Candy. Now get out there and clean up your mirror, smile and see the wonderful creation of God that we all know and love…you!!!!!

Have a GREAT day!!!!! May God Bless You!!!!

Joseph V. Carlozo (Joe)

(1) People Magazine March 21, 1994 Vol. 41 No. 10 Exit Laughing By Karen S. Schneider

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GO AHEAD – MAKE MY DAY – Volume 2, Number 7, October 5, 2012

I know what you’re thinking — “Dirty Harry” no doubt!!! Harry Callahan, the fictional City of San Francisco Homicide Division Inspector made famous by legendary actor Clint Eastwood. It was actually during the 4th film in the series, “Sudden Impact” (1983). It all started when innocently enough when Callahan goes into a diner to get a cup of coffee. While inside, the diner is robbed. Callahan runs outside after the robbers and kills two of them in a shoot out. The third robber grabs a fleeing waitress and holds a gun to her head threatening to shoot her. Instead of backing off, Callahan points his .44 Magnum revolver at the robbers head, clenches his teeth and in a Clint Eastwood tough-guy low voice blurts out, “Go ahead – make my day”. But it didn’t stop there, two years later, when speaking out against taxes at the 1985 American Business Conference, President Ronald Reagan stated “I have my veto pen drawn and ready for any tax increase that Congress might even think of sending up. And I have only one thing to say to the tax increasers. Go ahead—make my day.” Although Clint Eastwood and President Reagan brought notoriety to the phrase “go ahead, make my day” it was actually written by Charles B. Pierce, an independent filmmaker who is credited with “story by” in the film “Sudden Impact”. He gives credit of the actual origins of the phrase to his father Mack, who used to tell him as a child, “Just let me come home one more day, without you mowing that lawn, son just go ahead…..make my day”. So clearly, anyway you look at it, “Go ahead – make my day” was used as a threat, but does it have to be? Keeping that in mind, let me share with you a true story which just happened to me.

We had just finished up the September 15 tax filing deadline for partnerships and corporations. The previous three weeks were physically and mentally exhausting. It’s times like these that you must summon strength from within, that you practice walking by faith, and not by sight. Still, when our minds are tired it’s easy to get down (yes it happens to the best of us) and lose that spring in your step, sparkle in your eyes and passion within your heart. And so as I entered the office on this morning and came through our reception area I was  quite frankly whipped, and  consequently, not my best self. As I do all mornings when I come in, I make my traditional turn to my right and say “Good Morning” to my son Joe. It’s always great to see him. I never in a million years thought we would be working together. But on this morning, Joe was helping a rather tall, distinguished-looking gentleman with his iPad set-up. Much to my surprise, it was my mentor and Business Coach, Bill Berndt (See Blog – THE BUSINESS COACH – Volume 1, Number 13, December 29, 2011) who I had not seen in a while. I had been meaning to call Bill, but the hectic pace of meeting the September 15 deadline had left very little extra time. Still, seeing Bill and Joe together on this particular morning had an impact on me, a profound impact. You see, on this morning, without any notice or fanfare, they had no idea they had “made my day” but they did. Their enthusiasm, smiles and genuine happiness to see me put the wind back in my sails. Afterwards, Bill came down to my office and we had a chance to talk for a few minutes. He had been in my shoes before; he understood the pressures, the challenges and the responsibly of running a CPA Firm. As we went to say good-bye, I told him how much it meant to see him. He seemed genuinely touched, and thanked me. His unplanned visit on a morning when I was down, gave me new meaning to “make my day”. And so, as I do when passing moments in time make a distinct impression, I jotted down my thoughts and planted the seed – a new blog had been born. The time had come to give new meaning the phrase made famous by Dirty Harry – “Go ahead – make my day” would never be the same to me again.

Mother Theresa is quoted as saying “Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.” The same can be said of unplanned visits or calls to friends, as well as other random acts of kindness; today, cherish your friendships and “Make Someone’s Day”. Don’t be afraid to call a friend or family member and let them know how much you appreciate them. Go ahead and take time from your busy day at work to call your spouse or significant other and “Make Their Day”. Tell the special people in your life why you think they are special. Listen attentively to what they have to say without interruption. When was the last time you sent a handwritten note or card to someone? Go ahead and just take the time to be happy and helpful. Visit others on a surprise basis just to say “Hi”; Much like Bill and Joe, your presence will leave footprints on their day while touching their hearts. Best of all, without even realizing it, your heart will be warmed in quite an unexpected way. Now go ahead Callahan…you would never back off so “Go ahead – Make my day” and enjoy every minute of it. Go ahead and make a difference in the world and in the lives of others. Go ahead and be the best you can be. Go ahead and put a smile on someone else’s face but in doing so don’t be surprised when it wears off on you. A little bit of kindness goes a long way. Just like “The Universal Law” states, “Whatever you cast off in life, comes back in return”. In closing I wish you the best and while you’re at it…Have a great day!! May God Bless You!!

Joseph V. Carlozo (Joe)

PS. Shortly after writing this blog, Sue and I received the following email from our daughter Jessica. Needless to say she “made our day” and brought tears to our eyes by touching our hearts:

Dad & Miss Sue,

Before the day gets too crazy I have been thinking about something lately I have wanted to say. Thank you guys! Watching the Orioles this season has been such a joy, and I know my love for the O’s stems from all the games you used to take us to and all those summers days we used to watch and listen to the games together. Tromley’s miniature golf course! One of my all-time favorite radio memories (1). Watching the O’s now reminds me of the good times we had and our shared love of a great game, team and baseball city. Here’s to hoping we win tomorrow and get to host the Yankee’s in Baltimore. What a playoff series that would be. This kid’s heart would be over the moon.

Love Jess

(1) Mike Tromley, a former Oriole’s pitcher from 2000-2001 gave up 3 consecutive home runs in one inning while we listened to the game in our car in route to one of our many miniature golf outings. Consequently, we renamed the course “Tromley’s”. It was unbelievable memory we all never forgot.

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EVERY DAY IS ELECTION DAY – Volume 2, No. 6 – September 10, 2012

Whether we like it or not, politics is a very real part of the world in which we live. Every four years we have the opportunity to exercise our right to vote in the Presidential Election. Just this past week, the Democratic National Convention was held in Charlotte NC while the week before the Republican Party held their convention in Tampa FL. I enjoy watching the conventions as they are filled with passioniate pleas from a host of characters who validate the event as being labeled “the theater of the unexpected”. Each party does their best to motivate their base and rally the troops while at the same time influencing undecided and/or independent voters to support their nominated candidate. I always look forward to exercising my right to vote, and encourage everyone to do the same. Still, 4 years is a long time to wait to vote for a candidate who may, or may not, fulfill promises made during their campaign. While we can not control what either party does once in office, we have an opportunity each and every day to vote in a different way; I call it our “Personal Election” on how we conduct ourselves publicly and privately. You see, when you sit down and think about it, EVERY DAY IS ELECTION DAY.

Let’s start our “Personal Election” by declaring what kind of person we “choose” to be. Hopefully, you want to become a better person. In order to become a better person, then, be the better person every opportunity you have. Elect to overlook pettiness. Learn to praise others with a gracious heart and give them recognition for their efforts as well as their rightful share of the credit. Empathize trying your best to see a situation from the other person’s perspective listening respectively. Do the right thing – always – even if it hurts. Remember,  success with honor is a virtue. Do something for another in need and do it on an anonymous basis. True charity doesn’t care about your political affiliation or cause. Forgive others for their offenses and indiscretions and in doing so free yourself of excess baggage that goes along with harboring resentment. Treat other people the way you would like to be treated – The Golden Rule is an “Essential Election” as the late George Mason discovered and passed onto his children with the simple message….Just Be Nice – www.justbenice.com.

Consider adding to your “Personal Election” a “Declaration to Win”. In order to win, think like a winner, act like a winner – don’t belly-ache, whine, moan and complain. Be an adult, change your perspective instead of trying to change others and/or your situation. Doing things we particularly don’t want to do is an opportunity to build character. Perhaps most importantly though, elect to maintain a positive mental attitude (PMA) in the pursuit of all tasks and don’t ever, ever let your circumstances take away your spirit.

In rounding out your “Personal Election”, decide to make a difference in our world. In order to make a difference, be willing to be different, be a leader. Being different doesn’t necessarily mean being difficult. It does mean being our best self reaching beyond our grasp being the best we can be, using all of our God given talents in the process. Being different means standing up when others may choose to remain silent. It means caring about our fellow man, not because of a government policy, social pressure or a law, but because we elect to do so.

While politicians and our government can and will influence our society and standard of living, our “Personal Election” potentially has a much more profound effect on our world. We don’t have to wait every 4 years to make our “Personal Election”, we can do it ever day. Become a better person, declare to win and decide to make a difference our world. Be thankful to God for all your blessings and help others who are less fortunate and/or need a friend whenever you can. Forgive others and be forgiven and in doing so “Just Be Nice”. If enough of us elect to do these things with a steadfast discipline (not a dirty word) party politics may still continue on, but we will be at peace with ourselves having won the most important election of all without a political organization, campaign funds or having released one single advertisement. Yes, EVERY DAY IS AN ELECTION now get our there and vote knowing that with God, all things are possible.

Have a GREAT day!!!!! May God Bless You!!!

Joseph V. Carlozo (Joe)

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A REFLECTION BACK, A LOOK AHEAD – AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER – Volume 2, No. 5, September 4, 2012

As I arrived home from work the other day, I couldn’t help but notice that it was starting to turn darker a little earlier than usual. Then in a blink of the eye, I felt the air against my face with an ever so slight chill. There’s something about a change of the seasons that causes me to reflect back, as well as look ahead. Where did the summer go? It was just yesterday as we put the wraps on tax season 2012 and Sue and I headed out to Ocean City, MD and then shortly thereafter returned home to open our pool, clean up the Vettes and enjoy that special time of the year we can all vividly remember as kids.

Even though as adults work continues on during the summer months, everything just seems different, and in most cases, better. A drive on a country road, an ice cream treat (this year we discovered Prigel Family Creamery on Long Green Road in Glen Arm, MD) or a snowball on a really hot day, a dip in the pool, a cookout, eating steamed crabs and this year, even watching an Oriole baseball game, make May to August more special than just any other few short months during the year. But this summer was different, much more so than any other. In early August our son Joe was married and we welcomed his wife Emily into our family. At first I didn’t think the wedding would move me all that much, but when we stood in the church and I saw Joe and Emily holding hands on the altar exchanging their vows, my mind flashed back to the time he was an infant and then fast forward to all the memories of a lifetime. A tear or two filled my eyes as it was quite evident our little boy had become a man. We were so proud, very proud. Being joined by dear friends and family, as well as our entire team at work, made the celebration all that more special.

As Joe and Emily begin their life together as husband and wife, I’m reminded of a story that looks ahead by finishing up “and they lived happily ever after”. If we know the end of the story, and we truly believe and have faith as well as trust in God, we can rest assured that no matter how rough the waters may be, how dark the sky may turn, how discouraged and disappointed we find our spirits, we know everything will, in the final analysis, be OK. To Joe and Emily and to all of you who truly believe, keep your peace no matter whatever adversity you face. By knowing that when the “end of the story” is written “and they happily ever after” you can free yourself of all the stress and worries which are so easily susceptible in today’s hectic fast-paced world in which we live. In doing so, you can thoroughly enjoy each day for what it is, a gift, the present.

It won’t be long now – the leaves will start to fall. The slight chill in the air will become much more profound. Sunday afternoon will be filled with the roar of the crowd from football stadiums across the country. Daylight will turn to darkness by 6:00 P.M. and shortly after Daylight Savings Time will disappear. While the outdoor joys of summer fade into the sunset, our spirit and enthusiasm will create a “fire in our belly” that serves as an eternal beacon of light for all to see. At peace with ourselves, and secure with our relationship with God, we can breath a sigh of relief knowing that “we’ll live happily ever after”. Life is good…life is very good. Enjoy every moment!

 

Have a great day!!!! May God Bless you!!!!

Joseph V. Carlozo (Joe)

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WE ARE (still) PENN STATE – Volume 1, Number 14, December 31, 2011

Like many of my former teammates, I found myself speechless when news of the Sandusky/Second Mile Scandal broke. How could it be? What went wrong? As I was trying to catch my breath, I received many calls and emails checking in on how I was doing; it meant more to me than you could ever imagine. As a Penn State  alumnus, and former football player for Coach Paterno, hopefully you can understand if I take this time to offer my thoughts.

First of all, my heart goes out to the innocent victims and their families. While we can all focus on the person responsible for the horrific events and make certain he faces the appropriate justice, there is clearly no amount of money or repent by the guilty party that can reverse what has happened. Clearly, we can all stand to learn more about child abuse and look for signs not readily apparent. Still, I personally need to go deeper and understand why this happen. In that regard, there is both good and evil in the world in which we live. Too many times I am so saddened when it appears that society is pushing God out of our lives. When I think of God, I think of good things. I think of hope and promise.  I think of love and caring. I think of peace and understanding. On the opposite side of God is evil. Evil is customarily associated with the devil, demons or sometimes what is referred to as “the enemy”. It doesn’t matter what you call it, but the fact remains that it exists and its sole purpose is to bring misery, hurt, pain and anything else that can destroy our very souls. As bad as evil is, it did not hurt these innocent children alone. It needed to be mixed with a human weakness in the form of an addiction. Whether the addiction is alcohol, drugs, gambling, sex, spending or eating disorders, the result is the same. Ordinarily good people who 1) do not acknowledge their addiction AND 2) do not seek a spiritual healing, do things which hurt themselves, their families, friends, innocent victims and anything else they are associated with. Evil serves as a temptation luring the addict to do everything possible to destroy oneself. Because the addict did not get help AND heal their soul, the end result is the Sandusky/Second Mile Scandal. I all too well know and understand what can happen when an addict does not get help, as growing up I witnessed the hurt, pain, and embarrassment of a family member with a gambling addiction.

When I arrived on the campus of Penn State in the summer of 1970, I, along with my fellow teammates, became part of Coach Paterno’s “Grand Experiment”. As much as Coach Paterno loved football, even more so, he wanted to make certain that his players earned a college degree, learned lessons of life and made a positive impact in the world which they lived. Victories aside, he was immensely successful; The “Grand Experiment” worked and then some. Sadly, the Penn State scandal abruptly brought an end to Coach’s career. Many have said that his legacy has been permanently tarnished. In response, Jimmy Cefalo, former Penn State and Miami Dolphin standout, perhaps said it best, “The Legacy has already been written – and We, the former players…Are The Legacy”.

I did not feel alone in my sadness regarding the scandal. Together, with over 500 former Penn State / Coach Paterno players, we drafted and signed the following statement:

“As members of the Penn State community, we are deeply saddened by the allegations against Jerry Sandusky, and our thoughts and prayers go out to the victims and their families. Given the allegations against Sandusky, we understand the public’s outrage because we share it.

At the same time, however, it’s important to remember that all of the facts surrounding this troubling matter are not known. Until all of the facts are known and due process has run its course, we ask that the public reserve judgment about Joe Paterno and the Penn State community.

Having known Coach Paterno for many years, we can say with certainty that Joe Paterno is a remarkable man and that Penn State is a remarkable institution. Joe has had a profound effect on the lives of almost every member of the Penn State family. Joe has taught Penn State faith, fairness, philanthropy and the importance of academic excellence – all values that make Penn State a great institution today.

Penn State’s new president recently said that he wants the university to be known as a great research institution. In fact, the institution that Joe helped build is much larger than a single coach or team. Penn State is 94,300 students on 24 campuses. We are Milton S. Hershey Medical Center, Dickinson School of Law and Smeal College of Business. We are the world’s largest dues-paying alumni association. We are home of the world’s largest student run philanthropic organization. We are the University that has raised over $500,000, to date, for victims of child abuse during its darkest hour.

We are much more than just one man or one sport. We are a great research institution today and a university that prepares all of its graduates for success in many different fields.

Many in the Penn State community view the public’s rush to judgment of Joe as a rush to judgment of everything Penn State. We ask for due process for Joe Paterno and the Penn State community. Based on the immense quality of Joe’s character and the absence of all the facts, we stand in support of Joe and Penn State.”

The Penn State Football Family http://playersletterforjoepa.wordpress.com/

Just PRIOR to the breaking news of the scandal, in my blog BEFORE YOU CAN LEAD, YOU MUST LEARN TO FOLLOW – Volume 1, Number 6, November 3, 2011, I told a personal story of how I credited Coach Paterno with helping turn me into a man by teaching me a very painful, yet valuable lesson of life. He is a good man, a very good man. He is a father, a grandfather and surrogate father to all his former players. I ask that you join me and my fellow former Penn State players in reserving judgment until all the facts are known. As painful as it is, many times something good seems to come out of a tragedy. In this case, God willing, I hope and pray that this too is one of those times. In the final analysis, when the dust settles and the truth is known, WE ARE (still) PENN STATE.

As so as we close out the year, I wish you and your families all the very best life has in store and that 2012 is a happy, health and prosperous New Year!!!

Have a Great Day!!! May God Bless You!!!

Joseph V. Carlozo (Joe)

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